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yes i am boring and full of hate. yeah.
2011-11-01 / 15:28

hi kids. i was thinking about myself in the past few weeks a lot. how i see myself and what i want in life. and i guess i came to the conclusion that i am pretty boring. i love to work hard for my life and goals, i don't party, i love concerts and music, museums and walking around the city and through forests. traveling is my passion but i am saving money for other stuff so i dont do that either (that much). tattoos and drawing are all i can think and talk about all the time. why so much thinking again? maybe because some ppl tried to make friends with me and i dont know when it began when i started to dont like this shit small talk anymore. i loved it - i really do - and i think it is essential if you want to maintain friendships or any kind of relationship. but i hate it for the beginning. i hate to talk about "and what are you doing? working? oh - and do you like it - where have you studied?" dont get me wrong - i love to know new ppl but i just hate this stereotype talking talk. without any character of yourself in it. so i always tell ppl right away "yeah i dont do much. no i dont party. no i am not that much of a hang around guy. i like to be alone. i am a bad friend cause i forget to call / send a message / mail you. basically i just sleep, eat, draw, work and listen to music. thats it nothing more - so now we can start talking."

i hate those expectations of other ppl that you are awesome?! you can tell.... i feel this kind of pressure all the time. it doesnt get me nervous it just pisses me off when i have to talk to a group of new ppl. i hate bigger groups i really do hate to smile then. i hate the one person who is the center of attention in this moment and i hate that ppl expect me to be there an laugh about their jokes. and dont you dare to dont listen! me as a daydreamer cant listen in a group of ppl. it is like this creepy feeling of HAVING TO be normal and be nice in a group i hate. i really literally go in a corner, sit down and think my thoughts. and ppl think i am depressed - but that would be my spot where i feel comftable. i love to talk to ONE person. sometimes two - but if there are more - then i should know them for years or i just back off and i am in my own world.

thats kinda crazy cause i love to know new ppl. but this group thing is just not my thing. why all this thoughts. i really dont know. i could go on. but i think i will just sleep now.




I don't like groups... im happy to sit in my cave and eat chocolate.

By Blogger MinusAll, at 3. November 2011 um 08:52  

hahaha thats me ... just with cheesecake!

By Blogger Sandra Valerie, at 3. November 2011 um 08:58  

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