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church is like a heavy metal concert
2011-05-03 / 17:08

so i am in munich right now.

first - the wedding was very VERY nice..eventhough i am not religious - and damn i have to admit i felt pretty uncomftable in the church with all the rituals that i was rased on and not doing them then...and all this crazy talking about "raising your future child in the best curch-y way"... the religious speeches were all around the weeding after that for a lil while just because they ARE religious..those ppl..i know what i mean. it was intresting to see how other ppl who REALLY believe in this one religion act - not like me who say "yeah there is SOMETHING but if it is god, or just some monkey or a big tree or a star up there - i dunno...and maybe he is catholic and maybe he is buddhist or maybe he is even a believer in fairy-tales and laughs all the time about us ppl who are taking everything that damn sirious.." .... it is great to see ppl who have one thing in common eventhough they are complete opposites..its like a big metallica concert where you see an 8 yr old next to an 50 yr old and they like the same thing eventhough they maybe couldnt talk a longer than 5 minute conversation to eachother.

so church is like a heavy-metal concert XD no not really..but beside this it was really nice. i sat next to a strange funny but really strange guy. he just were like ...POSITIVE. like he looked into your eyes and gave you the word POSITIVE in your mind... crazy shit..he was not smiling or something he had just this arrogant thing about YEAH i am intelligent and somekind of perfectionist and just POSITIVE and like discussions about vegetarian ppl..uhh and you know i am vegetarian since i am 9 yrs old..and you know..i dont like those .."intellectual" ppl who show that they are "intellectual" and academic..and show that really ALL the they were something i automatically turn pretty rude in those cases. i dont know why..but i need to spit out bad words out of my mouth just to shock ppl like him in some kind a way..and beside this i dont talk about being vegetarian cause it always turns out that ppl THINK i want to talk them over to become an i always start a discussion about this like "yeah i dont talk about this - it always turns out that you think that i want you to become vegetarian - and thats not true - you have to make your own choice thats all."

and really: i think it is all about CONFIDENCE. if somebody tells me "yeah i eat meat - cause i am a meatlover and i just LOVE meat and i REALLY dont care about how they were killed and i can enjoy this" and this in a total confident way - i would say YEAH go on...or "yeah i care about how they were killed and i only eat meat from this or that farm so i know they were killed gently" and so on..its just like - i like ppl who know what they do. i dont really care about WHAT they do as long as they know that it is right for them and they can stand behind their word. i mean i became a vegetarian because i thought i was allergic - i only turned to this confident vegetarian when i was around 16-18 yrs old... but i really dont like those phrases like "uhhh but it tastes SOOOOOOOOO good" - man i know that - i would probably eat meat if i knew it wouldnt be from a living being. it is just MY choice. and it is YOUR really PERSONAL choice to eat meat. and if you are allright with yourself i am allright with you. i just CANT stand ppl who say "uuuuh i know ..i want to be vegetarian so damn much but i cant cause it tastes so good" i hate ppl who dont have oppinions (what doesnt mean that oppinions shouldnt change - oppinions change all the time -but you should have one) .

aah too much vegetarian talk. the wedding: since the couple was very young - the party was very easy...there were a lot of "games" and "actions" for the couple and a very VERY funny one included the groom to rap infront of all ppl - and he did it THAT great you cant believe it...but you have to know he is kinda a performer by heart - and the ex-frontsinger of the band in which my boyfriend was with him - so he did all this musician game very well (he had to sing operas, and play some instruments - he is an music-student so it was pretty great to have all his study-friends over there to make those kinda games for everyone).. dancing was kinda ...GERMAN...cause i cant do those "standard-dancing" like to waltz and i just made the twist for one dance and looked at ppl for two hours...i only stayed until alex and the groom and the rest of the band had there revival-gig for that night - some hardcore on a wedding is always good ;) and i slept like a baby cause i was very exhausted from the past days. ...the question of the day was btw: "would you marry your partner?" - and i have to say "YES! - but not now..i still get to know alex every day, every week, every month, every year a lil bit more... and i think i still dont know everything about him..and how he respond to diffrent situations - so if he (still) wants to marry me in five or more yrs - then yes come on - i would love to marry him :) - and i know he kinda feels the same way)

and beside this..i have met some friends already here in munich. and it was so nice..i forgot my camera so no pics..i have to become a better - dayly life blogger - not only those "drawing-post" blogger...but i will think about it tomorrow..when i will meet some friends for a play night: the settlers - my fav. game! hahaha it will be so AWESOME!

beside this it is kinda strange being at home again. i know i will always be the child of my parents but its kinda confusing to get told "no you cant eat in your room" or "no you cant leave the table until everyone has finished" or "turn off the phone - i am talking to you"..i really feel like 16 again..and some other manipulative acts of my mother were not okay...and this only after 4 days. i really do love my parents - but i know that they cant handle me and i cant handle them more than 3 days. we are just too diffrent. i am not that kinda girl who shows THAT much feelings and they are ..not like carring their bloody heart on their tounge but smashing it into your face. other ppl say i am really direct but if you knew my family you would know what "direct" "emotional" and "drama" means. so compared to them - i am a stone. and they cant understand if i dont mean something bad but just neutral or if i dont scream when i happy but just laugh - for my oppinion very loudly... so there are many misunderstandings and tension cause we cant read eachothers bodylanguage and cant really understand eachother in some all. that was always a problem and it always will be. its kinda strange cause we love eachother so damn much - but since i am getting older and since i dont depend on them at all - i see them also as humans and not only as parents..and i think they have to start to see me as an indipendet human being some day. i know that i have to respect some rules in their house and when i am acting with them but with some stuff i think "coooooome on i am 22 yrs old - i live on my own since i was 17 - i think i KNOW what i am doing"

so its kinda bittersweet to be at home. but i enjoy being around my sister. i am her make-up doll - and i love it - cause i usually dont put make up on. i rather sleep longer in the mornings with cuddling alex XD but since alex is not here and i have more time - whyyy not living my female side of me a lil bit more than usual?

so i hope to find some sleep now..its 3a.m. and i am thinking to much..about the role of childs and parents when they both getting older..i should stop thinking...*sigh*



Sounds like you had a good time..... i'd probably go to church if it was like a Metallica concert! :)

By Blogger MinusAll, at 5. Mai 2011 um 12:20  

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