yes i miss shows a lot. hardcore shows are the best - the crowd - the feeling. and i miss a lot of things like:
1. friends i havent seen anyone in my free time for months now (hahaha i dont have sparetime) - except for some hours when i was back in munich to visit my parents. but i am not good with friendships - so i think that wont ever will come true. ooookay thats not true i have friends - i am just a bad friend cause i dont mail, write, call, meet as often as i want to - cause i am a lazy b**** sometimes with those kinda things...crazy that i could even get in a relationship with someone hahaha ...i think i will write about this someday here if i get no sleep again. 2. walking the town i am living in isnt the best place to go for a walk. it is just ugly and grey and small...it was my work out and now i am getting a big belly cause i am not walking anymore..*sigh* 3.travelling BUT i am planning on this. next stops will be: antwerpen, amsterdam, berlin and then kopenhagen...thats for sure the bigger plans have to wait. (if anyone knows great places to go (FOOD+concerts) in amsterdam and kopenhagen in particular - write me or post me a link or somthing ;)) 4. satisfaction in my job dont get me wrong - i like my job. webdesigning is fun for a while but i am just not used to do only one special thing all the time (except for drawing). but it will end soon and then i will fullfill my dream - because alex made a lil dream come true with having his side job so i can concentrate on myself again. 5. sunny days with 23 degrees and a soft gentle breeze on your face (but i know when its getting too warm again i wish for a winterday again...crazy ppl are we humans) 6. meeting NEW INTRESTING PPL! YESSSSH i wish i could talk to complete strangers again which i am not "forced" to talk with like at work or stuff. i was so used to it all my life..just doing couch-surfing or meeting ppl at the tube and talk to them or meet ppl by blogging / internet or just say hi at shows or at a museum. oh i really really really miss those stuff. thats really a part of my character missing right now. 7. tattoos! or not that much - cause i found a place for walk ins. so i will go there on saturday hahaha. 8. non-sense-problems like those you had when you were 15 yrs old. now you have problems like "what kinda furniture will i buy fur this nice table i bought the other day" or "uhhh i have to pay my bills" back in the days there were problems like "uhhh fuck i have to learn this stuff tomorrow will be the test" or "uh how can i sneak out without waking up mom and dad?" ...i dont wanna be 15 again right now - but i wish i had more of those problems than problems who could affect my whole future if i make a wrong decision.
and so on. i could go on and on and on but i like my life. cause i see that it is moving and changing all the time. i think i would go crazy if everything would stuck - it is good the way it is and how it will come i think
but i am a lil bit lost with my insomnia nowadays... i have a lil flu i cant get off..everytime i lay down and my breath goes like "slow" and "causy" like you know you will touch your dream-bubble in a second - yeah then i start to cough as hell. those dry coughs you cant do anything against. i hate them - my muscles on my belly even hurt the next morning once because i coughed that much. and i think i even get a cold - a-g-a-i-n. since we moved in the new office at work - i am like every 2 weeks ill - i really dont know why! in the office before i never felt like this...anyway i have to focus on sleeping right now....and i want this when its no prototype anymore:
Few is the number who think with their own minds and feel with their own hearts.
Hello sweethearts! here i tell you a lil bit about myself. Something "private" to give you a lil bit of sugar.
1988 i was born in munich - you know that city in germany with the oktoberfest and beer and fat germans who only eat "prezels" and sausages. i am vegetarian btw. my mother is african and my dad german. we moved around a lot when i was a kid - but
i never mind evengthough i think thats that the reason why i cant get really personal with ppl.
i was a wild teenager - with alcohol, too much partying and too much kissing around - and never had a real boyfriend cause i loved my freedom!
and then i met alex who is my boyfriend now... we meet at an art-fest in munich and somehow we stuck together and i really do love him!
i was always intrested in art. my grandparents were both architects and artists. i remember my first painting i gave my grandpa for present was
a skeleton of a squirrel. i think i knew that i would be a lil bit metal by heart then haha!
i got my first tattoo when i was 12 or 14...cant remember but i do remember that my mom just asked me if i want one cause my sister was getting one
and sure i said yes - cause i always wanted exactly the same what my big sister tatiana got!
so thats it - here you see my WIP work and love. i hope you enjoy it.
I used to go away for weeks... in a state of confusion.
this part is still under construction! wait and see.
A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.